11 am in the morning in Istanbul. I had a guest, which was a cat in my home, name Pasha. I am like a real writer now. Typing and a cat landed by my side from nowhere? I am scared the cat might jump out of the windows. So windows are closed. Funny but it had happen to the rabbit that I bought for a friend. It jumped out of a balcony just like that. So I am scared. I am scared of what will or would happen before I can go on.
No more birds chirping nor seagulls flying above my head. I miss going away. There will be a moment I will leave again. It is the nature of my life.
I am apologizing from my life. It sucks at the moment. Still I can’t jump off the balcony like my rabbit. Thinking like her; I will land safely on the ground.
There is this unbearable missing towards something. I want to take a boat trip and just fish for 1 month. Only action I want to take is in the name of thinking is playing chess against myself.
The thing you call miracle, doesn't happen with one person maybe. These warm days will pass. These glory of living will give me my present of my life.
I was watching this singer singing in a colosseum then another performer. Full of people listening one song and then waiting for one glimbs of smile or a laughter.
Then I have noticed. Someone took away from me my dreams from me while I was in my sleep. Then it reminded me the reason of living. A man without a dream is no one. Am I no one? Yes maybe I've lost my dreams. So I live like no one. But here again a little deep note to my God and to your God. May God give us back all of our dreams. May we all live our dreams. And live a life dream come true. Other wise no reason to hang on to something it doesn't belong to you.
Never mind me today. Life has always it's own weight when you share what you have and when you dream.
So I am waiting for my Godho to bring me back my dreams....
